One week ago today, myself and my three housemates moved into our new lives in Chicago. In the elapsed time, it’s actually become difficult to think of much that hasn’t happened. In the course of our busy week, we have moved into an apartment that started off a disaster (cabinets pulled, sinks on the floor, drywall-dust covering the floors), tapped into new social communities with past LVC volunteers, gotten to know our neighborhood, started our new jobs, picked up our local organic vegetables CSA share (yum), attended a movie-at-the-park, biked all over the city, I saw my brother Blake, and also saw my old housemate Jacob Swenson, went back to work, realized that I’ll actually be the one teaching tomorrow, and lastly, I learned how to bake bread (it’s rising right now). Basically I think they say, “he hit the ground running” for occasions like this.
In this current moment, school is probably the biggest deal to me. During the first two days in the school, I’ve more or less laid low in Elizabeth’s (lead teacher) courses. Basically, I’m trying to get a feel for how I should and shouldn’t present myself in front of everyone. I notice that I’m really questioning myself and my confidence as a authoritative figure in a video production classroom, which is a stressful event in itself. With reflection, it is becoming more obvious to me that the students’ mature age combined with their cultural difference from myself is the intimidating combination that causes me the stress. Tomorrow, when I ride my bike past the several neighborhoods to the south and west, I need to remember that even though I come from a world apart, I can still take the seat as a teacher. After all, they don’t know more than I do about video production, at least not these sets of kids.
Still, I notice that my summer backpacking job with the Asberger’s kids was simply laid out for me to feel successful. It always seemed like I had the responsibility and capabilities to get them both through and out of the backcountry. With video, I doubt my leadership more. So I struggle forward right now, knowing that I need to learn how to see myself as part of a team of educators that will without a doubt succeed at relaying good and useful knowledge to these kids at North Lawndale. Right now, I may not know the most about video, but then again I didn’t know the most about backpacking and Asperger’s syndrome when I set off on my summer job. It’s definitely my hope that I will rise to this new occasion in a similar way as what happened on the summer excursion.
I’m sure I’ll have more to write in another week. Not to mention probably another thousand un-job-related items… like moving in a new gas stove - TBA. On that note, I have a stomach that needs the attention of the newly baked bread.
Comments
Nancy